


My Shore

by Fereael



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Regret, Yut-Lung needs a hug, this was supposed to be fluff but it came out like this instead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-02 04:58:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18804181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fereael/pseuds/Fereael
Summary: Sometimes Yut-Lung has regrets, sometimes he feels like he's drowning in them, but one night he finds the shore.





	My Shore

 

Pointless, it had all been so pointless. A complete waste. Why had he done it? For power? For revenge? Or had it been mere bitterness spite and jealousy that had been his motivation? He couldn't remember anymore. He wasn't sure it mattered. He had done it, done all of it, and for what? For what? He was drowning again, drowning in his own isolation, his own distance from the world. What was the world to him anyway? Why should he care what it thought of him, what _they_ thought of him? They were pathetic, all of them. The way they clung to each other, the way they were content to have nothing. He didn't need that sort of people in his life. He was above them, so far above them, a mile, a thousand, it didn't matter, he was still beyond their reach, or was it that they were beyond his? Was it they that were ascendant? Was it he at the bottom of the chasm, drowning so far out to sea that he couldn't even sight the shore? He did care. In the privacy of his own mind, and nowhere else, he allowed himself to admit it, he did care what they thought of him. He did feel guilt for what he'd done to them, and it was drowning him.

 

“Really again?"

 

A voice broke through his malaise. Familiar, but who? One of them, but which? Could it be…?

 

“Give me that!”

 

“Leave me alone! I'm fine!” Yut-Lung tried to hold onto his wineglass but Sing wrenched it out of his hand.

 

Vainly he grabbed for the bottle but Sing pulled it away too.

 

“How many times have I told you not to pull crap like this? It's not good for you!”

 

Yut-Lung let out a bark of laughter that was half a sob. “Why the hell do you care? What are you doing here anyway?”

 

“One of your people came to find me. He said you were at it again.” Sing sighed, dropping both wine bottle and glass into a nearby garbage bin before coming back to sit beside Yut-Lung on his bed.

 

“Which one? I'll fire him!”

 

“I'm not telling.” Sing crossed his arms and glared at Yut-Lung who looked away.

 

“Why’d you bother coming anyway? You hate me just as much as everyone else does!”

 

“You’re crying.”

 

 _What?_ It was true Yut-Lung realized. There were tears running down his cheeks and falling to stain the dark silk of his kimono. Why hadn't he noticed them before?

 

“So?” He snapped, wiping furiously at his eyes. He didn't want to ruin the fabric.

 

“I don't hate you. I never did.” Sing's voice was calm, conversational even.

 

Yut-Lung froze, then slowly he turned to look up at the younger boy, unsure whether or not he'd heard him correctly.

 

“Really? After everything?” He tried to make his words sound mocking but they probably came out as more pathetic than anything else.

 

“I didn't say you didn't screw up. You did.” Sing gave him a wry half smile. “A lot. But I never hated you, and I don't now either.”

 

“R-really?” This time Yut-Lung didn't even attempt to hide the sob in his voice.

 

Sing nodded, putting a hand lightly on Yut-Lung’s shoulder. “I am worried though.”

 

“Worried?”

 

Sing gestured with his free hand at the bottle and glass that he had dropped into the garbage and then at the other empty bottles lying on the floor around them. “Why do you think? With the amount you drink anyone who cared about you would be!”

 

“Care?” Yut-Lung echoed the unfamiliar word. “You care about me?"

 

“Well yeah.” Sing rolled his eyes. “Why did you think I kept stopping by all this time?”

 

Maybe he could see the shore after all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this for the Banana Fish "A Perfect Day" zine but then Yeet decided that he wanted to spend most of it doing angst which didn't really mesh with the hole "Perfect Day" theme so here it is. If you want to read some of my writing when I'm actually doing fluff (and also read some stuff by a several other really great writers and see a lot absolutely stunning BF art) check out https://twitter.com/BananaFish_zine Beyond that lmk what you think. I don't typically write short introspective fics like this so I'm curious what people think and feel free to come find me on twitter too!! https://twitter.com/Fereael


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